Dear Friends,
“My heart is full of love for my nieces and granddaughters,” doesn’t mean I have stopped loving my sons! I suppose the kind of love that my heart rejoices in at the moment, can only be fertile in the land of innocence, mine and theirs.
Maternal love is complex, generating incomparable “highs” and “lows.” A mother’s “unconditional” love can be unreasonable, tinted with worry, unrealistic expectations, unsolicited advice and disapproval. It can also be smothering, overprotective and thus overpowering. In my case, add a ladle of guilt and helplessness as well! The older your child, the more complex your love! I hope all young mothers are enjoying their blessed time!
Maternal love is complex, generating incomparable “highs” and “lows.” A mother’s “unconditional” love can be unreasonable, tinted with worry, unrealistic expectations, unsolicited advice and disapproval. It can also be smothering, overprotective and thus overpowering. In my case, add a ladle of guilt and helplessness as well! The older your child, the more complex your love! I hope all young mothers are enjoying their blessed time!
There is a somewhat misanthropist Farsi saying that passes through my mid every so often “Not having a child is one sorrow, having a child is one thousand and one sorrows!” Who said motherly love was selfless? To love is to practise selfishness!
It's written in the Koran that Paradise is underneath mothers' feet! Well, I’m afraid the mothers in my family, including myself, dropped the ball on that one! Nonetheless, I remain grateful for being a mother. Just because I’m not a perfect one (far from it), it doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy being one! Being a mother of adult children also helps me understand (only sometimes) my mother’s perspective and dilemmas.
Have a heavenly day and weekend everyone!
Oh, Lili,
ReplyDeleteSo complicated this maternal love thing. I think I've over-loved my children if that's at all possible. Now that they're grown, I keep inviting them, trying to make dates with them - and I fear they can smell/sense my desperation in hanging on to the deep, loving connection I had with them when they were younger. That desperation has the opposite of the desired effect - they often find excuses for not coming - too busy, too tired, I'm sure you've heard them all. Finding a new identity (i.e. not just that of 'mother')has been one of my great challenges. I'm working on it but have some trying moments, especially now that I'm retired. We must learn to seize all the positivity and cherish it, appreciate it; we must also learn to overlook and not be overly sensitive to the rougher moments. I'm so good at giving advice - too bad I stink so badly at following my own advice. Bon weekend, ma copine...