Wednesday, 29 February 2012

Gratitude Day 88 - The Pretty Stranger

The number of times I switched the bracelet yesterday - ZERO
Dear Friends,
There she was last night, walking in front of me in a pair of high heel brown suede boots; tall, slim; hugged in a short belted brown wool coat with the matching head band covering her ears; a sharp black and brown tote in one hand, and a beautiful black leather purse in the other.

And there I was; bundled up in my long heavy comforter look-alike coat, dragging my hunched body in a pair of weighty flat boots with thick rubber soles; an old black nylon bag hanging from one shoulder and a hideous green lunch bag dangling from another; both my hands in my pockets, pulling me down even further. 

I have no idea what possessed me to buy a red coat, to stand out like a Christmas/Valentine sore thumb all winter!

As envy fuelled my curiosity, I rushed past the “picture perfect,” to take a glimpse of her face. Well, if not older, she certainly was not much younger than me!

I went home and attacked my closet with vengence! Out with the old, dark, loose, tacky, frumpy, shabby and drably! 
I will never be tall and slim and I will never be able to walk to work in heels, but indoors, I can do better than what I’m doing now!
Until comfort takes over my closet again, I shall try to look the best version of myself and remain immensely grateful to my Pretty Stranger! Although, all I have to wear now are my jeans! 
Have a beautiful day everyone!

Tuesday, 28 February 2012

Gratitude Day - 87 Eyeglasses


The number of times I switched the bracelet yesterday - ZEROThe secret? Stay home, away from everybody!

Dear Friends,
Last night I misplaced my eyeglasses. Obviously, it took me a while to 
find them! As I realised there is very little I can do with my naked 
eyes, I tossed and turned all night thinking about laser surgery.
This morning, after putting in my lenses, it took me thirty minutes to 
put on my face! All of a sudden it hit me! I would be a fool to have 
eye surgery. I’m so grateful for my eyeglasses. Not only they allow me 
to see well, but they also allow me to look better! 
They cover my mismatched tattooed eyebrows; my under-eye wrinkles, 
Friday night dark circles and Monday morning bags! And, their glossy
dark (designer) frame doubles as eye make-up. 
Most importantly, when I take them off, both me, and the world around
me, we look perfect! 
Now, why go and  mess with such a blessing?

Have a visionary day everyone! 

Monday, 27 February 2012

Gratitude Day 86 - Joy List


Dear Friends,
This weekend I lost count of how many times I switched the bracelet from one wrist to another! All I know is that both my wrists are red!
Let’s call it the February blues, blahs and move on! 
Either I really do whine a lot, or every little “self-expression” counts as “complaint,” “gossip” or “sarcasm!”
Nonetheless, I did feel a great deal of gratitude!

I have a list of things that make me feel good. Nothing too ambitious like world peace or equality across nations! Some simple, superficial and selfish pleasures over which I can exercise control! When I’m in a rot, I take out my “Joy List.” Checking off even one or two activities generates positive energy and before I know it, I’m on my way to cheerfulness! However, this weekend, it was easier said than done! We all know what makes us happy. It’s finding the motivation to take the first step that presents the challenge. That’s why everyone needs a “List Buddy.”
I am very grateful to my “List Buddy” of 22 years! I can always count on her to descend to the bottom of the well and pull me up (even if she has to drag me by the hair!) She better be around for another 22 years!
Have an ascending day everyone!  

Friday, 24 February 2012

Gratitude Day 85 - To gossip or not to gossip?


The number of times I switched the purple bracelet yesterday? ZERO!


Dear Friends, 
There is a Farsi saying - Where you hear about others, you will hear about yourself!
We all recognise the perils of malicious gossip. However, in my latest readings, I learnt that effective gossipping draws people closer. Having the potential to breed trust, it strengthens our social ties; secures our place in the "circle" and gives us a warm feeling of belonging. Experts also suggest that the easiest way to find out about potentially harmful people or situations, especially at work, is to take part in group gossipping rituals.
I personally can’t engage in any such activity for what it's going to feel like an  eternity! (Was that a complaint?) You, on the other hand, go ahead, share your exciting "stories." (Nurse one for me too!)
I will continue to remain intrigued and grateful to explore further the pros and cons of complaining and gossipping. Undoubtedly, it will provide me with "juicy" material for a few more postings.


Have a social day and weekend everyone!

Thursday, 23 February 2012

Gratitude Day 84 - To moan or not to moan?


Dear Friends,
Switching of the purple bracelet - 5 times! Not my fault - I was provoked! 


Last night, instead of going out and engaging in the "inevitable," I stayed in and read a few articles about complaining and gossiping. I am very grateful for the opportunity to expand my knowledge.


Apparently there are two types of complaining; effective and ineffective.

Effective complaining results in reforms that serve social justice. It creates movements that enable “former grousers” to fight for worthy causes and become activists! It supports our basic human rights; changes our laws and enables us to fulfil our dreams.

“Ineffective” complaining (what I do), obviously doesn’t serve a “higher” purpose at all! It might offer a temporary relief of some sort to the “moaner” and to a few (polite) listeners; however lack of resolution will eventually make the whole activity futile. 
Lamenting about issues we cannot control, or do not want to change, is perceived as whining! Nobody likes whiners! If we must whine, to make ourselves feel better, we better make it snappy! We don’t want to be labelled as "boring" or "annoying!"


Have an effective day everyone!

Wednesday, 22 February 2012

Gratitude Day 83 - To complain or not to complain?


Dear Friends,
Was I ever grateful yesterday was Mardi Gras! In preparation for Lent, I did treat myself (without guilt) to a couple of cream filled doughnuts

According to my previous readings any form of “discontent” is negative energy that once thrown into the universe attracts and brings back more doom and gloom for its owner. However, in my recent readings, I found out that “complaining,” offering a wide range of health and social benefits, is vital to our survival and betterment of our conditions. 

Although very fearful of the “negativity ball” hitting me in the face, I feel a penchant towards the experts who believe venting, a genre of complaining, to a few trusted people, can desensitise an upset and avert unfortunate costly outbursts. Safer to growl at our colleagues (trusted or not) than lashing out at our boss! The same experts claim that constantly keeping our grievances to ourselves results in health hazards.  

Since bottling up our negative energy is as harmful as throwing it out into the cosmos, it's best not to generate any at all. Much, much easier said than done! 
I suggest we pitch, then dodge! Should the "snowball" boomerang, it will hopefully hit the enemy!

Have a positive day everyone!

Tuesday, 21 February 2012

Gratitude Day 82 - Tongue in Cheek

Dear Friends,
It seems that the mild, sunny long weekend (What a blessing!) did steer some "complainish" feelings in me! I apologise for my “tongue in cheek” gratitude No 82! 
I just have to get it all out before Lent. It’s tough being a middle-age woman with no complaining options for a while!


-I’m grateful to all the drivers who actually saw me crossing the street at the light, and refrained from playing “chicken” or “dare” with me!
-I’m grateful to all the bikers who remained on the road and avoided coming right at me or pedal past me without notice, on a narrow sidewalk!   
-I’m grateful to all the drivers who considered slowing down when they saw a puddle!
-I’m grateful to all the  “couples in-love” who let go of each other’s hand and stepped one in front of the other, to let the “third wheel” roll by!
-I’m grateful to all the dog owners who avoided pushing me off the sidewalk to make space for their “baby!”
I have a "thing" about baby carriages as well, but since I have two little grandchildren, I'm more tolerant of buggies!

Rushing along the path of a middle-age woman without a car or chauffeur in a cosmopolitan city,
-I’m grateful to all TTC commuters who coughed and sneezed in their sleeves. They must have school-age children!   
Done! 
Starting tomorrow I will be - all my colleagues my witnesses - sugar and honey!
Have a sweet day everyone!


Thursday, 16 February 2012

Gratitude Day 81 - The Purple Bracelet


Dear Friends,
While ago, a dear colleague of mine presented me with a 
purple bracelet that was used by her mother-in-law’s 
congregation as a vehicle for giving up “complaining” 
during Lent. 
I’m not sure whether she gave it to me in the spirit of my 
gratitude blog, or because she thought I was a whiner and 
could use the exercise!
I’m grateful to be challenged because I strive on dare!
Thus, this year I shall observe Lent. After all, who really 
knows which religion will prevail up there?! As I’m growing 
older I feel the need to cover all my bases with Bruce Almighty!
Starting Wednesday, I will wear my bracelet. Every time I complain, I will switch it to my other wrist! (It is very possible to be grateful and complain at the same time!) I will take the challenge a step further by not gossipping or using sarcasm. I shall not do anything remotely soothing!
Have a striving day and long weekend everyone! 

Wednesday, 15 February 2012

Gratitude Day 80 - Bliss


Dear Friends, 
The scent of romance is fading in the air! Retailers have already replaced cupids and red hearts with leprechauns and shamrocks. As the colour green steps out into the spotlight, I can’t help but wonder maybe my "knight in shining armour" is colour-blind and will show up on St. Patrick’s Day, love drunk, with a pot of gold!

I’m very grateful that I made it through the toughest “first” without self-pity, overstated indifference or exaggerated quest for fabulous time. Just half a jar of nutella, a tub of ice cream, a bag of chips, some dip and half a bottle of wine!
After all, St. Valentine’s Day is not all about romance!

Thus, I conclude my “reflections” on this enigma we chose to call "love."
As a good friend brought to my attention, if I stop moving around so much, Romance will undoubtedly find me again!
Until then, I remain grateful for the affection of my family, friends, colleagues and most of all the unconditional love of my grade one students. I know God loves me too. 
Have a blissful day everyone! 

Tuesday, 14 February 2012

Gratitude Day 79 - Happy St. Valentine's Day


Dear Friends,
Ah! February 14 - every “uncoupled” person’s
“Slap in the face,” “Kick in the gut” Day is finally here!
Thank goodness it didn’t fall on a Friday or a Saturday!
That would have been a double whammy!
On the weekend, I promised my heart we were going to celebrate on the 14th, and today I convinced her that we have already celebrated on the weekend!
Last night, I did think of treating myself to an exquisite evening; massage, champagne, maybe even spending the night in a hotel, breakfast in bed, morning off! Well, it’s 8:20 am and I’m here! 
Why spoil it for the next guy, I decided!

I’m not going to do anything “special” for myself tonight either. This cruel day of “à deux” is not the right time to celebrate one’s uniqueness! 
With all due respect to all the happily attached, semi-attached and soon to be attached, here are my bittersweet blessings on this auspicious day:
I’m grateful I’m not in an unhappy marriage.
I’m grateful I’m not in an unhealthy relationship.
I’m grateful I don’t have to spend time, energy and money to glam myself to go out, or to stay in and cook a “nice” dinner!
I’m grateful I don’t have the opportunity to foster expectations, succumb to disappointments or fake appreciation.
Comparing downwards? Sure! It can always be worse! I’m grateful it isn’t!  
Have a loving day and evening everyone!



Monday, 13 February 2012

Gratitude Day 78 - Chick Flicks

Dear Friends,

Chick Flicks - “romanticaholics” quick fix, especially on a cold, snowy February weekend - are often equated with superficiality! 

I personally count them as blessings! I rather be transported to the “fantasy land” where aesthetic people wear fashionable clothes and live in beautiful homes and neighbourhoods, chasing equally aesthetic prospects. For the ugly naked truth, I can always turn to the six o'clock News or the mirrored doors of my own closet! 
However, this weekend I had to be considerate of a friend's "semi-intellectuality" and sit through a couple of her picks. Nonetheless, while swimming for almost 11hours in the shallow waters of frivolity, I caught some priceless lines:

You are the best thing that NEVER happened to me!

Every woman has the exact love life she wants!

Love means never having to say you are sorry! (Truth be told, I don’t quite understand this one! I'm constantly either apologising, or expecting an apology!)

What is about love that makes us so stupid?

Who can possibly resist Renee Zellweger’s teary confession to Tom Cruise, “… you had me at ‘Hello’…….”
"There are some things worth having, but they come at a price and I want to be one of them.” Now, there is a line I would like to use someday!  
Until then, I shall rejoice in my happier times. As Deborah Kerr said to Cary Grant in An Affair To Remember, “Winter must be cold for those with no warm memories." 

This winter, gratefully, I have enough provisions to keep me warm. 
For next winter, all I can say is - Allah is great! 

Have a fantastic day everyone!









Friday, 10 February 2012

Gratitude Day 77 - Friendship

Dear Friends,
To complete the circle of Love, it's imperative to recognise and salute
Friendship.
Today’s "singles" say, partners may come and go, but friends stay!
It’s true. In the past ten, fifteen years TV shows like Seinfeld, Friends
and Sex and the City have revolutionised "Friendship" in North America.

The other night, I was having dinner with a twenty-year old amity.
Although my friend and I had experienced a four-year “fall out," we
decided we each had kept enough colourful yarn to weave a new friendship. 
When the waiter asked us whether we were sisters, (we used to get that a lot)
we both said, “No, we are just friends.”
Afterwards, I gave the word “just” a bit of time and thought. Maybe 
the secret to sustainability of “friendship” is the word “just.”
Now, only if we could take our ambitious expectations out of our 
other liaisons, and learn to say “it’s just an attraction; it’s just
marriage; it’s just a blood relation! Heck, it’s just love!”  
I am so very grateful to all my friends, old and new; far and near; full
time or part-time! I don’t want to know where I would be without them!
Have a friendly Friday and weekend everyone!         

Thursday, 9 February 2012

Gratitude Day 76 - Love & Pain

Dear Friends,
If it were not for the pain of love, our culture would have been very meagre. 
I personally have not published anything about "love gone wrong." But, I have written extensively on the subject! 
The most inconceivable diction can erupt from that dark hollow place in the bottom of our stomach! 
I'm grateful that by putting my emotions on paper, I mourned the losses, grew, changed and was able to carry on, allowing hope to continue walking by my side. 
I'm grateful for having had the opportunity to feel, express and enjoy love. I gave love my most noble self. I'm sure my “lovers” did too.
Love is a bit like death. We have to accept and honour it. And, just like death, its knock on the door is a mere formality. We cannot shelter ourselves from it, and no matter how well prepared we think we are, it will still catch us by surprise!
Only when I die, surprises will cease to exist! Until then, I command my optimism - another blessing worth counting!
Have an expressive day everyone!

Wednesday, 8 February 2012

Gratitude Day 75 - Falling out of love with...


Dear Friends,
While organising my thoughts around the “Valentine” postings, I realised I have a few “syntax” issues with “love!”
“I love chocolate!” “I love Paris!” “I love reading!”
And then, we turn around and say the deal maker/breaker of all times
I Love You!”
I’m not sure why we love to use the verb “love” for both living and non-living things!

I’m also puzzled by the phrase “falling out of love with …”
Falling” implies lack of balance and control. Maybe the phrase was created exactly for the purpose of releasing us from responsibility. But then, why do we hold the poor slobs who fall out of love with us, ever so accountable?

The juxtaposition of “fall and “out” is yet another mystery to me.
I see “fall” as a downward movement, “out” as an forward or upward motion. 
In my opinion it makes more sense to say flying out of love!  


I’m not very pleased with the preposition with either! Falling out of love is often a solo performance, not a joint venture. It would be more appropriate to use the preposition from!

What a linguistic confusion! No wonder love is having such a hard time with us!
 Let’s just “unscramble” the sentences: 
Love fell in I! Love fell out of I!" After all, Love is blind, not I!
On that note, I’m very grateful to Love for not breaking anything on its way out!
Have a lovely day everyone!



Tuesday, 7 February 2012

Gratitude Day 74 - Paternal Love



Dear Friends,
Somehow, paternal love doesn’t steer as much frenzy as maternal love! It must have something to do with men’ ability to compartmentalise!
I’m grateful for having had a father whom I can remember fondly. I did hold the title of “Daddy’s Little Girl” for ten years! Then, my sister was born! 
My father was not perfect. By today’s standards, he probably wasn't one of the better ones either, but he was there. In his time, his role consisted of being a good provider and a decent human being, so his children would be proud to carry his name. His mission was accomplished “par excellence.” As difficult as it is to pronounce, I never gave up his name! As for the other “fathers” I know, I take a great deal of pride and joy in watching my younger son “father” his daughters. He must have learnt it from the books or the films, since God knows his own father has never been short listed for the “Father of the Month” Award!  Mind you, he did monopolise the title of the best "Son" and "Son-In-Law" for many, many years! Although, I could never understand, how can a lousy husband, be a good son-in-law?!
Have an award-worthy day everyone! 

Monday, 6 February 2012

Gratitude Day 73 - Filial Love


Dear Friends,
There was a time when filial love consisted of a great deal of respect and gratitude, a bit of fear, a dash of anger, a pinch of resentment and some sense of responsibility.
And then, came along Freud and ruined everything! He called it the “Oedipus” and “Electra” complexes and complicated matters further by digging into everyone’s “childhood!” From above Paradise to therapist’s office! Indeed, we mothers have come a long way! 
Although I’m sure my name has been taken in vain on therapists’ couch more than once, I remain grateful that I was not expelled!  Khoda-ro-shokr my sons, although holding a long list of grievances, continue to like me, enjoy my humour and love my cooking!
I’m also grateful to have had the fine sense of being a good daughter to my parents. At least, on one side of the fence - I am guilt-free!
Have a complex-free day everyone!

Friday, 3 February 2012

Gratitude Day 72 - Maternal Love

Dear Friends,
“My heart is full of love for my nieces and granddaughters,” doesn’t mean I have stopped loving my sons! I suppose the kind of love that my heart rejoices in at the moment, can only be fertile in the land of innocence, mine and theirs. 
Maternal love is complex, generating incomparable “highs” and “lows.” A mother’s “unconditional” love can be unreasonable, tinted with worry, unrealistic expectations, unsolicited advice and disapproval. It can also be smothering, overprotective and thus overpowering. In my case, add a ladle of guilt and helplessness as well! The older your child, the more complex your love! I hope all young mothers are enjoying their blessed time!
There is a somewhat misanthropist Farsi saying that passes through my mid every so often “Not having a child is one sorrow, having a child is one thousand and one sorrows!” Who said motherly love was selfless? To love is to practise selfishness!
It's written in the Koran that Paradise is underneath mothers' feet! Well, I’m afraid the mothers in my family, including myself, dropped the ball on that one! Nonetheless, I remain grateful for being a mother. Just because I’m not a perfect one (far from it), it doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy being one! Being a mother of adult children also helps me understand (only sometimes) my mother’s perspective and dilemmas.    
Have a heavenly day and weekend everyone!

Thursday, 2 February 2012

Gratitude Day 71 - Love

Dear Friends,
February is back, and once again, the seasonal desire for love and romance fills our heart! To benefit the card companies, St. Valentine has become about all sorts of love!
Playing along with “Hallmark” and “Papyrus” and the W Network that has started a “Romance” marathon, I would like to dedicate my next few postings to LOVE!


On bitter days, I refer to it as “another four letter word!” However, being “bitter” in the month of February is tacky! I aim to do better.
Let’s start with different “genres” of love; maternal love, paternal love, brotherly love, sisterly love, platonic love, puppy love, romantic love, self-love, selfish love, selfless and divine loves. Unfortunately, there are no adjectives to describe “auntie” and “grandma” loves. I find that a bit disappointing because at the moment, my heart is full of love for my nieces and granddaughters. I am very grateful that I’m blessed with four lovely girls, ages 11 months to 12 years. The mere thought of them puts a big smile on my face, and bursts my heart with joy!
Have a joyful day everyone!

Wednesday, 1 February 2012

Gratitude Day 70 - Data

Dear Friends,
In-between fashion seasons, I read serious magazines such as Psychology Today, Psychologies (in English and French) and  the American Scientific Mind.
With Report Cards now being on the Administrators’ desktop, I have time to catch up on my reading.
Have you ever given any thought to the people who offer, or sell their time, body and mind to scientific experiments?
I, personally, am very grateful to them. Without this “genre” of people how could we have any data? How would I know which moisturiser erases my wrinkles better and faster? How would I know why a certain thought crosses my mind? How would I know which theories are valid? Which emotions and behaviours are rare, normal or over the top?What to eat? What to drink?
By taking part in various studies, testing a variety of products and answering a multitude of questions, participants conceptualise theories, solidify concepts and help scientists and psychologists to advance their causes. To someone like me, who pretends to be the nanny of the household to avoid answering a couple of questions on the phone, these people are heroes. I salute them! I suppose I’m also very grateful to the rats. They do pay their dues to the world of science!
Have an experimental day everyone!