Gratitude Day 164 - Potpourri

Dear Friends,
Time is running out and I still have a long list of blessings! 


1. Remote Control! 

Imagine getting up to brows almost 200 channels, and lower the volume every five minutes when consumer awareness interruptions come on!  

2. Mayo!

I can’t even imagine a sandwich without it! Mustard is too watery, butter or margarine are too greasy!  

3. Brazil!

What would we Canadian women (and men) do without Brazilian goodies; bikini wax, hair relaxing method, clay and now Brazilian butt lift program! 

4. Bugg Repellent!
I’m every insects’ Cosco - they come in bunch; shop till they drop! This summer with the new Off that looks and hooks like a pager, I shall fight back! 


5. Our Adversaries!
It’s never about us, it’s always about them!
Getting to the bottom of their “cause" might unveil a hidden treasure in us ! I personally owe a lot to my adversaries. They are like crossword puzzle; challenging and frustrating! But, their main purpose is to keep us sharp! 

Have a smooth and relaxing day, everyone!

Gratitude Day 163 - The Roadrunners

Dear Friends, 
As I have already mentioned, I’m very grateful for being able to walk because # 11 is my daily mode of transportation. I don’t drive and I don’t like public transportation. 

Since it has been proven that walking is the healthiest exercise for all ages and body types, I’m also a treadmill fan. I used to own one. For many years, I enjoyed a steady relationship with my treadmill and favourite DVD’s - Sex and the City! 

As all good things come to an end eventually, the treadmill broke down and the New York hip lifestyle lost its appeal for a middle-aged Torontonian!  

I let go of the treadmill in favour of the swimming pool. However, I really would like to accentuate the benefits of the treadmill to people who like to run on very narrow, busy sidewalks of midtown Toronto!

Although I don’t frequent the exercise room in my building anymore, I just might have to resume my relationship with the  treadmill - only to run away from the roadrunners!


Have a safe day everyone!

Gratitude Day 162 - Dress Code - Oppression or Emancipation?

Dear Friends,
It’s a long posting! It was a relaxing weekend, and the topic of "clothes” is close to my heart!


To paraphrase a Russian saying; people judge us by our clothes when they meet us, by our brains when they leave us! 


Clothes have certainly come a long way since they were made of leaves, straws and animal skins to barely cover us up.
Way before designers came along, clothes had already developed socio-economic values. Then, they became an "eyebrow raising" symbol of liberation, from Coco Chanel to the hippies. Today, it seems clothes are all about female sexuality - flaunting it or hiding it! In Toronto, at the intersection of Yonge and Eglinton, there are women in full hijab and women in skimpy shorts and tops. Oppression, emancipation or simply a matter of personal choice? 

In my time and circle, every occasion and establishment required its proper attire. We played tennis in white, dined in skirt (lined), wore pants only on picnics. Checkered and stripes did not go out at night; silver, gold and sequins never saw the light of day. Shorts belonged on the beach and jeans were for cowboys! 
When it came to dress code, “laissez-faire” was not an option, for women or men. Thus, as far as “protocol,” I can appreciate dress code, not because I believe in it, but because I was raised with it. However, once “dress code” becomes a matter of “coverage” for women, I develop major issues! 
If I wanted to be told what to wear, I would have stayed in Iran!

At my school, we are teaching our female students to respect their body by reinforcing a dress code that we are to follow as well.

Which sex, culture and age-group should decide what's appropriate? Where do we draw the line; at mid-thigh? Two centimetres below the shoulder? The hair? The eyes? The curves or the voice? Who should set the norm; people with bare upper body in Africa, or head-to-toe covered people in Saudi Arabia? Strangely enough, we live in a city that allows both! 

When we tell eleven/twelve year-old girls to follow the “appropriate" dress code, we are telling them they have developed sexuality. And then, when they engage in “sexual” behaviour, we wonder why. I vote for uniform! Although it does not slow down growth and development, it demands esteem for the integrity of the institution, not just covering skin.  


Respecting, protecting and taking responsibility for one’s sexuality involve a great deal of education and discussion. Merely telling girls to follow a modest dress code is not enough, especially when the “banned" attire is quite acceptable elsewhere! When it comes to female body and persona “appropriateness” is relative to culture and upbringing. (I personally belong to the generation of the hunchbacks!) 


I'm so very grateful my body has become esthetically challenged - I cover it up voluntarily. If it were worth displaying, I'm not sure how I would have felt following a "dress code" in twenty-first century Canada, where we dine in jeans! 
By the way, what’s up with track suits and sweat pants?! 


Have a “laissez-faire” kind of a day! 

Gratitude Day 161 - Riding The Tide

Dear Friends,
It has been said so many times, in so many ways that the difference between the “troubled" and the “untroubled" isn’t in the trouble, but in the way it's handled. And last night, handled, I did -  the unimaginable! I went from The Cash Store, to Cash Money, to Money Mart to pay off my son’s gambling debts! The unbearable heat rising from the asphalt, the weirdos acting out along Yonge Street and the employees and my son being on first name basis, added more “noir" to the black comedy I was living! 

According to Scott Peck, the author of Road Less Traveled, Life is difficult! Truth such as this allows me to take (gratefully) full advantage of the (anticipated) temporary calmness in my life this weekend. I shall wash the windows, plant some herbs, flowers and bring out the balcony furniture, looking forward to visiting with my granddaughters from NY. 

Until the next storm hits my sail (and I’m sure, it will), I remain grateful for my ability to understand and accept that Life will not cease to happen; it’s how I choose to live it (with a little help from my friend, Pinot Grigio) that will make all the difference. 

Have an easy, breezy weekend everyone! 

Gratitude Day 160 - Disguised as Blessing

Dear Friends,
There is "blessing in disguise" and then there is "disguised as blessing!” 
Remember while back (Gratitude Day 115), I sang the praises of Shellac - a  manicure that lasts at least for two weeks? Well, I changed my mind! 
Just because my hands were free, it didn’t mean they were safe! Because of the nail polish that doesn’t chip, I had become very careless with my hands; peeling potatoes, washing dishes, scraping pots and pans, opening cans and jars! Before Shellac, in honour of the “regular" manicure, my hands would be spared harsh labour. 
I found Shellac to be a little devil disguised as blessing! 


Gratefully, I have returned to ordinary nail polish because it can be reapplied. My hands, on the other hand, once gone - are gone forever!


Have a blessed day everyone!

Gratitude Day 159 - No More Headaches

Dear Friends,

Whoever has the biggest roof, will get the most snow - another Iranian saying I had to share with you! In plain English - the more goods you have, the more responsibilities you have! 


Although I would have liked to make more money on the sale of my condo, I remain very grateful to have literally gotten rid of one roof. One less tenant, tax bill, condo fee and mortgage. I must admit I’m a bit disappointed in myself for not becoming the first real estate tycoon in my family. However, I have to accept my personality has limited me to being a little old lady who doesn’t want to shovel snow anymore! 

There was a season to have properties, now it’s the season to let go of “anticipated” gains and instead invest in amplifying my life by simplifying it. 

I’m so very grateful to have sold my investment property. Once I pay the agent, the bank, the stager, the painter, the lawyer and the government, there will be no money, no property, no headache! That’s very liberating! 
Have a headache-free day everyone! 

Gratitude Day 158 - Mall Massage

Dear Friends,
Today, I would like to send my appreciation (gratitude) to 
THE GREAT AMERICAN BACKRUB _ YEC! 
It’s a massage nook, tucked away in a few malls across Toronto. 


Leave it to “Americans" to come up with simple, speedy version of everything! 


Sometimes, a girl just doesn’t feel like taking her clothes off and slipping between crisp white sheets, listening to soothing music and inhaling aromatic oils. Sometimes, all she needs is a quick, unceremonious back rub in a public place; a pair of strong hands named Dimitro, to take his frustrations out on her shoulders. Peu importe, the mall fragrance and racket in the background! 


Have a relaxing day everyone! 

Gratitude Day 157 - Belly Dancing on Stage

Dear Friends,
To my mother's absolute horror, “Thank god your father is not here to hear this," I went on stage and belly danced in front of a hall full of strangers! 


I have no idea what possessed me to sign up for the gala performance at my belly dance studio, but I did! Maybe I was operating under the influence of Mark Twain who said, we will regret more what we don't do, than what we do. Maybe it was my "have to take risks” sermons to my students that pushed me. Or maybe, it was just my own philosophy of living it up! 
I’m so grateful I did it! It was courageous; it was fun; it was invigorating! Most importantly, now when I preach "risk taking" to my students, my nose will not grow longer! 


I’m grateful to my three dear friends who came to cheer me on. And, I’m also very grateful to my son for being there. Contrary to my mother’s belief, he was not “embarrassed" to see his mother dance. 


Have a fun-filled day everyone!

Gratitude Day 156 - The Subway

Dear Friends,

I very much dislike taking the subway! Sometimes, there are
loud, rude people; sometimes sneezing, coughing people; and 
sometimes, a few smelly people! 
Yesterday, squished between an ugly man and the ample bosom of a 

very tall woman, I was not feeling very grateful. As I was pressing my 
purse against me - you never know who has roaming fingers in a 
crowded train- I kept urging myself to locate a blessing, a pleasant 
memory, a simple pleasure. I tried to concentrate, holding my breath 
so I don’t inhale the ugly man’s breath! With so little oxygen reaching
my brain cells, I couldn’t think of anything. 
This shall pass too! I kept repeating in my head. Then all
of a sudden, I realised; what else could be more gratifying than 
knowing this train ride will end. “This shall pass too!” I don’t 
know who, when and where has coined the expression, but I find it 
very comforting, in desperate times.

Khoda-ro-shokr (Thank God in Farsi) I walk to work, and only take the 
Subway every so often, and rarely during rush hour! 


Today, with both "free will" and “willpower" being at subzero, 
I’ll say Long Live Impermanence - the first Dharma Seal of 
Buddha’s teaching! 


Have a better weekend everyone!

Gratitude Day 155 - Flowers

Dear Freinds,

Every day on my walk to work, I pass by some lovely flowers. Often, I stop for a few seconds to admire them.

Flowers are pretty powerful living things, aren’t they? They have their own season, personality, secret language, etiquette book. They know no boundaries; they go anywhere, anytime, speaking their mind. They welcome us to the world, and they see us off. 

All flowers, regardless of size, colour or scent have one thing in common - they are beautiful, although not always kind. Some have thorns; some provoke allergies. Often, they discriminate against men and children, and some wouldn’t lend their names to women. Nonetheless, I’m very grateful for them.

I would like to dedicate today’s posting to all the gardeners, professional and amateur. You make my world so much more colourful – Thank you!

Have a beautiful day everyone!

Gratitude Day 154 - Mistaken Identity

Dear Friends, 
Last night, I was having dinner with my son at Mashu Mashu (gotta feed the kid if I want him to hang out with me!) A very charming man kept smiling at me. Being the polite person that I am, I smiled back. (I’m very polite!)
After a while, when my son stepped out to smoke, the charming man got up, pretending to get a saltshaker from the next table. I knew he wanted to take a better look at me. He smiled again. I smiled back which encouraged him to come forward and ask shyly, “Is your name Andrea?”  
“No!" I said. I was not smiling, anymore!


On my way out, I told my son I was going to talk to the guy at the next table; if it was going to embarrass him he should leave the restaurant before me - he went out for another cigarette! 


I approached the charming man, leaned forward and asked: “Did you mean Andrea as in Andrea Martin?" 
He turned red. "I’m sorry, do you get this a lot?"
“Don’t feel bad” I said, "89 percent of Canadians think I’m her!" 


Although I really get annoyed when people mistake me for Andrea Martin, mainly because I think I’m much better looking, I have to remain very grateful to this apparently uncanny resemblance to her. For the longest time, I thought people looked and smiled at me because they found me attractive! Thirty years ago, that misconception gave a young immigrant girl just enough self-confidence to feel good in a new country! 


I have never gotten into any special clubs or received anything for free on this account, but, that’s fine; I’m vain, with low standards. I remain grateful for being looked and smiled at, even if it’s a matter of a mistaken identity!
Have an incomparable day, everyone!

Gratitude Day 153 - Aristotle, Plato and Socrates

Dear Friends,
According to the popular belief, reflected in the policy makers' bills, I'm sitting on the cushiest job in the world. I have it so good that not only I'm not entitled to better working conditions, but I’m to lose pay increase, sick days and grid advancement too. All the while, I'm supposed to keep up my positive attitude and enthusiasm for working with children, and for implementing, at times, unreasonable initiatives of the policy makers! 

We teachers are such undervalued population! For every one person who says I respect teachers, there are hundreds who don’t see past the two months off. 
Once I told an envious “Why don't you quit your job and become a teacher?" 
"Oh no,” she said in horror, "I couldn't possibly be with children all day!" 
"Well then, give some credit to those who can and are!” My curt reply got her off the envy waggon fast! 

Yesterday we received some very disturbing news regarding the fate of our teaching career. The word “strike" was mentioned, too. 
Eventually, for the policy makers, it all comes down to unrealistic promises to voters and of course - money. Mind you, it's seldom their skin and money - always ours. 


In comparison to thousands and thousands of people, we are still in a decent place. However, until when can we find solace in having a job when we are losing our rights, dignity and whatever we worked and planned for? 
There is a school of thought that claims being alive does not mean living! Perhaps that's why in many countries they pull the plug on the brain-dead.  
The integrity of our job is in danger! Settling for six days sick leave in an environment where germs grow like mushroom!
I suppose, when the job includes dusting, cleaning, washing, wiping nose, bending down to fasten shoe laces, being yelled at, barfed at or even kicked, you can't expect respect. Sometimes, I wonder how parents bring themselves to leave their children in our care - after all, according to many, we are not worth much!


Well, this morning I say let's throw gratitude out the window! What is a job without respect, compassion and fulfilment. Let's all moan and groan as per articles in my psychology magazines, negative feelings bind people together better than positive ones. 
I'm sure Plato, Socrates and Aristotle are all turning and tossing in their grave in our favour! 


I must say though, I’m grateful I live in a country where they cannot put me in jail for speaking my mind today! 


Have a binding day, everyone!

Gratitude Day 152 - Pillows

Dear Friends,

Pillows—as lifeless as they are—sure live a full life! Although their function changes as we grow older (from pillow fight to pillow talk), they remain one of our most cherished items. No wonder we choose them with such care and become so attached to them. 

Pillows support our head, back and feet. They hear our nocturne whispers, and peer at our dreams and nightmares. At times, they muffle the sound of our emotions. Sometimes we hug them, sit on them, punch them and sometimes we might even bite them! Through it all, pillows remain calm and forgiving.

Pillows' fancy cousins, cushions—every sofa’s soul mate—have a more glamorous lifestyle - they get to sit, pretty and hang out with company! 

As lifeless as they are, pillows and cushions certainly add a lot to our life. I sure am grateful for my four pillows and seven cushions!

Have a cushy day everyone! 

Gratitude Day 151 - Funeral Homes

Dear Friends, 
I come from a culture that keeps Death at a comfortable distance. There are no funeral homes, and cemeteries are created in the outskirts of towns. You can only imagine my shock when I saw Death living in the heart of Toronto!
For the longest time, whenever I passed by Mt. Pleasant cemetery, I would turn my head. Every time I passed by the funeral home on my way to work, I would turn my head! Until one philosophical day when I almost got hit by a car, right in front of the house of Death! I had not thought of the other world being so close! I was literally and figuratively two hops away from the basement of the funeral home!

Now, gratefully, I live in a neighbourhood that has four funeral homes - all at walking distance! Far from becoming morbid, I have come to see these places as daily reminders that life is precious, fragile! I have to respect it by enjoying it!

Now only if I could sell this policy to a few loved ones around me!
Have a lively weekend, everyone!

Gratitude Day 150 - Improvement, Perfection, Intermission!

Dear Friends,
I decided I have IFS- Improvement Fatigue Syndrome! 


All I ever hear or read are messages of "betterment!" 
I do realise "betterment" is the foundation of evolution, but I'm exhausted running after improvement! When will I be permitted to stop and enjoy what I have already become or accomplished? I rather work towards perfection - at least it's a destination - I can hope to get there someday. Improvement is a goal under perpetual construction! An endless tunnel! It's like a mirage; the closer you get to it, the farther it gets from you! 


In my line of work (teaching) betterment is called "next step" or "two stars and a wish!" Well, guess what? After having written all my report cards where, to preserve the integrity of my evaluation, I had to mention all the possible areas for improvement, I decided, in the month of June, I shall keep my wishes to myself, and only dispense stars! After all, my students are only six/seven-years old. They have their whole life ahead of them to practise betterment! I give myself permission, on this 150th day of my gratitude blog, to sit back and enjoy our accomplishments, progress and growth.


Eventually, I have to return to the constructions zone because that’s how things are these days, but till then, I shall gratefully remain in my intermission state of mind! 
Have a perfectly pause-able day everyone!

Gratitude Day 149 - Free Will - Catch 22

Dear Friends,   
While I was reading up on willpower, I came across an article on free will. When it comes to "free will" - I feel discombobulated. 

In Farsi, the word “beechareh" (solution-less) means “poor," as in poor pitiful hapless! Interestingly, lack of solution, choice, control and power in one language means "impoverishment” in another. 

I personally think until the day we are alive, we have a solution,  committing suicide being one! Of course it might not be the most religiously or culturally acceptable choice; nonetheless it is an available solution. (Not to worry - I’m not suicidal!) 

When people say they don’t have a choice, they really mean they don’t want the alternative. Our freedom is limited to who we are. What keeps us from making certain choices are the consequences, not lack of option. 

Ultimately, we are held back or pushed forward by our personality which is influenced by our genes, environment, upbringing experiences and habits. In that respect - what free will? 
We can always change ourselves, but then being able to alter our personality, also depends on our personality! Free will is catch 22!  


When I looked up the word "free will" in the English/Farsi dictionary, I came across some words I hadn’t heard before. Thus, I remain grateful for being familiar only with the colloquial word “beechareh!” In that respect - I do believe I have free will! 
Have a straightforward day everyone!

Gratitude Day 148 - To Vice Or Not to Vice

Dear Friends,
Every morning I wake up with the best of intentions. However, as the day progresses, I lose control of my resolutions - one by one! From eating (and drinking) healthily, to saving money to remaining active, everything becomes a battle of forces! 

Naturally, I read up on the phenomenon of willpower!

Some experts claim willpower is one stock; the more you use it the more you lose it. Others claim willpower is like a muscle; the more you use it, the stronger it gets. Both schools of thought agree that stress is a huge "mangeur" of willpower! 

Since willpower is usually needed in relation to pleasures of life, 

I'm very grateful I don't have too many vices! Otherwise, with an uneven distribution of stock, stress and muscle in my life, every two weeks I would have been going to a rehab centre! 

Have a pleasurable day everyone!

Gratitude Day 147 - Validation

Dear Friends,
Attention -  we all need it, but pretend we don’t crave it!


My parents used to say, if you are worthy of praise, other people will recognise it. It never occurred to them that other people might be otherwise engaged!
Thursday night, as "in vino veritas," I was grateful to hear others confess they too craved attention. Their parents must have been as clueless as mine! 
I wonder which came first, validating people or validating parking tickets? What could people and parking tickets possibly have in common, to share the same verb? 


Once I “parked" myself in my vocation, I finally found the right “other” people - my students, their parents and of course my colleagues.


I dedicate today’s posting to my dear colleague Lisa whose hospitality, generosity and need for validation resulted in an unforgettable night for the rest of us. We haven’t had a “wild" staff party in a long, long time. 


Since one validation deserves another, maybe I’ll ask her to join my blog, assuming she is a reader!


Have a lovely Monday everyone!