Gratitude Day 139 - The Breakup

Dear Friends,

Following my son's hospitalisation, came the breakup! 
I don’t remember the exact date, but I know it was around this time. 


Since, I had a rewarding, balanced long weekend, feeling totally in charge of my destiny, let's say it was today - May 22! 

When I needed his arms to hold me tight, so I wouldn’t crumble, he loosened his grip! After I gathered up my pride, and the little strength I had left to take back with me to the hospital, for the first time I realised "good time Charlie" literally had weak arms - void of any defined muscles!

Sometimes you don’t know how much you don’t need something until you lose it! Nonetheless, I had to give the 4-year old relationship with all its hopes and disappointments a proper mourning period. 

I'm grateful starting today, there are no more “firsts.” The circle is complete - the past buried and mourned.  
Breaking up is like lying, cheating, manipulating - it gets easier with practice. The first time my heart was broken, it took me three years to eat “curry” because my lover left me to marry an Indian woman!

This time around, I didn’t boycott any places, songs or cuisines. Just a bit of pain here, a bit of ache there! Nothing that a few bottles of good Merlot, a trip to Cuba and couple of new outfits didn’t cure!

A few months ago, I ran into his son. He said his father missed me, but he was too proud! I was grateful to his pride! A few weeks ago, I saw his number on my TV screen. I didn't pick up; he didn't leave a message. 
Although I don't have everything I want, I know what I don't want. And, as I'm getting older, I'm getting better at refusing it!

I’m very grateful the year is over; chronologically, psychologically and symbolically. To new beginnings!

Have an enchanting day everyone!