Only misfortune and disappointment are the true test of our love for God.
Dear Friends,
According to one of my numerous books on life and how to live it better, every so often we must stop and ask ourselves whether we are in a better place than we were the year before. If the answer is affirmative - no grievances, moving along gratefully! If the answer is negative, we should (after having complained, of course) devise a plan to get out of the undesirable situation!
Dear Friends,
According to one of my numerous books on life and how to live it better, every so often we must stop and ask ourselves whether we are in a better place than we were the year before. If the answer is affirmative - no grievances, moving along gratefully! If the answer is negative, we should (after having complained, of course) devise a plan to get out of the undesirable situation!
Today, is the one year anniversary of the most horrible day of my life.
Although I'm not where I would like to be with the matter, I'm so very
grateful for not being where I was a year ago today – the emergency room of St. Michael's hospital!
The heartbreaking story is not mine, so I can't go into details.
Suffice to say, a mother's best and worst experiences in life have
very little to do with her own self.
While I was in the Emergency waiting room, trapped between a stranger with whom I had two children and an ex sister-in-law who had never been sisterly, I received two amazing signs that everything will be fine.
First, out of nowhere, appeared one of my former student’s father, in green staff uniform. He asked me whether I was playing hooky! My teary eyes gave way to a faint chuckle. I immediately felt safe, stronger.
He certainly had something to do with the nurse who, shortly after, came out looking for Mme. M.
An hour or so later, walked in a colleague; dealing with an emergency of her own. Our casual “Hi & Bye” work relationship, took a different turn. I felt belonged, cared for.
In my dark lonely world of May 16th Dr. S. and Susan were my only shining stars.
That was also the day I finally realised, no matter how hard I tried or desired, there could never be anything worth saving between me and the father of the boy for whom both our heart bled. Even in the most desperate time of our life, he couldn't reach out to hold my hand.
That was also the day I finally realised, no matter how hard I tried or desired, there could never be anything worth saving between me and the father of the boy for whom both our heart bled. Even in the most desperate time of our life, he couldn't reach out to hold my hand.
I would like to dedicate today’s posting to all the parents who have courageously sat at their children's bedside, feeling helpless, but hopeful; fearful, yet fearless. May the rest of you never visit this cold place.
I also would like to express my gratitude to everyone who held my hand, dried my tears and gave me strength to carry on.
I also would like to express my gratitude to everyone who held my hand, dried my tears and gave me strength to carry on.
Have an uplifting day everyone!
Yes those are very dark days for us when the bubble bursts. It'so hard to let go of our dreams with our men and boys. I've always had trouble letting go of anything. It's fear. Our boys are ok now, just different from our hopes and dreams. I am grateful for all those other people who take care of them and services that make them well, who do things we as mothers can't. There is a God you know... Kirsten
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this vulnerable moment. Beautifully written and very touching.
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